After 5 years of infertility and trying to conceive (TTC), my husband and I naturally conceived in April. Some people may say we are having a “quarantine baby” but I can finally say we are having our miracle, rainbow baby.
When we first found out, I was elated, but as I started telling people, I received some “Of course it’d happen in quarantine, you just had to relax. Just be stress free.” Now, all of this to say, I know those people mean well and are so excited that this worked for us. The support from our friends and family has been amazing. But after being in this infertility community for over 5 years, I know how hard it is to hear, “Oh, just relax, it’ll happen.” Trust me, for the past 5 years, I tried to “Just relax.” I did acupuncture, meditation, reading, took months off tracking my ovulation to “not focus too much on it.” To see more on our infertility journey, visit here.
The funny thing to me after those comments now too is – in March and April, I didn’t feel relaxed. On my birthday, our state was mandated to shelter in place and not leave unless essential. My husband is an essential worker, so daily he interacted with the public, even through the stay at home order.
The anxious person I am, was far from relaxed in March and April as I worried for his health, the health of my family and adjusting to this new routine of working from home. On top of that, I called my clinic because we had planned to do a frozen embryo transfer (FET) in April, and they cancelled it, saying they wouldn’t start a new treatment. I was crushed, knowing we had had a successful FET in August 2019, only to lose our baby shortly after.
I was so anxious in fact, when I started feeling sick in April, I went and got tested for COVID-19 (which came back negative) because I was convinced I had it. A few weeks later after finally seeing those two pink lines, I found out the fatigue and nausea was actually first trimester sickness.
Another thing I heard was: “See, you didn’t even need to spend the money on IVF, you can do it on your own.” I believe God brings us through trials to make us who we need to be for ourselves in the future. My husband and I grew so much navigating finances, emotions, hundreds and hundreds of IVF shots, we learned to turn to each other in the midst of heartache and pain and still see life as beautiful in the end. I wouldn’t wish to walk through it again, but I know he brought us through that for a reason.
Now, I’d be blind to not acknowledge that I did make lifestyle changes in 2020. I do believe they helped contribute to the health of my body, which I’ll share below but this baby is nothing short of a God timed miracle.
- Switched to only organic, clean feminine products in February. I loved the Cora brand and I really felt that it helped with my menstrual cramps as well leading up to it.
- I started Barre Blend at the end of February, mentally and physically grounding myself each morning. I also was walking a few miles each morning.
- I started drinking a Fab Four Smoothie every morning before breakfast or coffee that consisted of oat milk, spinach, flax seed, almond butter and protein.
- I journal most mornings, including gratitude and processing everything we were going through.
- Since I was now working from home, that ended my 40-minute commute each way to work.
- I stopped wearing make-up, drinking out of plastic water bottles (from always being on the go), and we didn’t eat out, not even take out – significantly removing the toxins and increasing the nutrition going in my body.
Would I tell someone TTC to do those 6 things above and they will become pregnant? No. Because if someone told me that I would have laughed. I truly believe God taught me so much through our trials this last year. I believe he knew I would do better at home during my pregnancy. Did those things above help my body be in a good place for a baby? Of course; but ultimately it was His timing.
If you are still trying to conceive, I’m not here to tell you to change your habits or just relax. I am here to tell you that God has not forgotten about you. I never thought I’d be one to conceive naturally. I read multiple stories, but always told myself that it wouldn’t happen for us, yet it did. Keep praying, doing what is right for your family and following your heart. I’ll keep praying for you too.
For this child I prayed and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart.
1 Samuel 1:27
My Spool of Life 