The Story Behind the Photos

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” ― Brad Meltzer

Social media can be a blessing and a curse when it comes to infertility. I am so thankful for social media when it comes to the Facebook groups you can join and the amazing Instagram community of IVF warriors. It connects you to people going through the same thing and truly serves as a reminder that you are not at all alone.

The negative side comes when you see the highlight reel of everyone else in your feed without seeing their back story.

Just picture this friend- It’s the end of the day. You’re sitting at home and start that endless scroll on social media because let’s face it, you’ve had a long day.

You open it up to see your that coworker on an amazing vacation and you feel like you haven’t taken one in ages. Don’t get me started with the baby announcement and gender reveal that popped up this week. I get it, you’re in the middle of your IVF cycle, years of trying to conceive, doing shots, trying to balance work, marriage, finances and hormones. It’s so easy to look and say, why not me?

How often do we do that? I encourage you, be aware of how you feel after you spend time on your social media channels. If you are feeling bad, don’t do it. You have that choice of where you focus your attention. If it was your escape, go for a walk, find a good book that you can escape instead.

Recently, my husband and I went to Catalina for a getaway to reconnect. During our time in Catalina, we kayaked, explored and enjoyed our time in nature but I was also in the physical process of ending this IVF cycle. Beyond the physical aspects, it certainly elevated the emotional side of our loss. What wasn’t on Instagram from our trip was our naps and ibuprofen to help with the pain.

Not to discount our recent getaway at all because it was such perfect timing to allow us to getaway together without distractions and I was thankful it came when it did. However, I had a miscarriage three days before we left.

It is a good reminder though that you don’t always know what others are experiencing behind their smiles or photos.